Empty Nest Blues

I have decided I need to stop cleaning my house. Because everytime I dust, I dust family pictures. And then I get all sad and emotional.

I miss when my kids were little. And let me stop all of you right there who are getting ready to say “Tammy, they are doing well and they are healthy and happy...”. Yes, I am extremely grateful for that. I thank the good Lord every night for my family. Every night. But give an empty-nest mama a break, because sometimes we just long for those little faces with the messy morning hair. We long for the days when the biggest dilemma was chocolate or vanilla, to play soccer at recess or to swing.

I long for the homeroom mom days, the scholastic book fair days, the popsicle summers, the awards banquets. I miss them. I miss hearing my kids upstairs laughing. I miss Spongebob on the tv. I miss the glitter and the glue and the construction paper.

I miss when a kiss and a hug would make everything better. I think I even miss the late-night runs to Walgreens for poster board because someone, ahem Reece, would tell me at the last minute about a project due the next day.

Those days are long gone and I realize it’s not good to live in the past. But every once in a while I am reminded of the simpler, easier times of being a young mom. At the time it seemed anything but simple, but it was. It really was.

Funny how when you’re in the “thick of momness” it’s difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But that light will certainly lead you through and let me tell you, it is THE world’s shortest tunnel. You will blow right through it in lightning speed and come out on the other side quite bewildered that it went so quickly.

I am honestly very grateful for how my children have grown and who they have become. I know the good Lord has them and that gives me peace. I send up a pretty hefty amount of prayers every week. I’m sure I’ve got God’s InBox overflowing.

You do the best you can. You make mistakes. You pray for them. You love them with your whole heart. You cry tears of joy and tears of sadness. You laugh with them. Their happiness is your happiness. Their pain is your pain.

And yes, you have days where you really miss them being little.

This is one of those days.

-Tammy Dixon